Yes, A Christian Can Have A Nervous Breakdown-

Yes, A Christian Can Have a Nervous Breakdown-

I became a Christian shortly after I married at the age of 21… …skipping ahead 5yrs… …I was extremely athletic and strong in the word of God and witnessed and ministered to co-workers. Many would come to me for advice… …so my Christian integrity was well established among many. On Oct31, 1998… …at the age of 26 all that I was accustomed to was stripped away suddenly and swiftly…

I was training a guy on forklift… …after he lowered the pallet in place, he accidently bumped the rack with the forklift and the pallet right over me fell between its support causing all the frozen product{I worked in a freezer factory} to drop down on top of me. To imagine the impact… …there were 50 boxes weighing 25lbs each stacked and wrapped together… …and they all came down on me at once from 6ft over-head{10ft if you combine the stack height}… …yep, if you did the math, that’s 1250lbs! The force of impact was (I imagine) like getting hit by a flat-faced bus going 35mph. I’m going to move fast from here because I’m moving toward my emotional breakdown and my direct encounter with my Heavenly Father…

…Worker’s Comp was a nightmare. The case manager, [not even a medical professional], inserted in my record that I was a SUSPECTED narcotic abuser because I ASKED for strong pain medication… …[also, my boss doctored-up the actual accident stating that the pallet did NOT land on me but knocked me to the side as I dove away and merely twisted my back… …let me revisit that accident real quick…

The pallet fell at such speed I only had time to throw my hands up and pray… …the impact lifted me off my feet and carried me IN THE AIR downward and 10ft away on the opposite side of the aisle… …600-800lbs remained wrapped and upon my lap crushing my upper body into the pallet of product that was behind my back… …the pallet I was smashed against was not sitting flush on its support; so my BACK was pressed against the pallet while my HIP was slightly shifted under the pallet and against the rack itself… …so, my hip was slightly dislocated… …yep; a BIG OUCH!!! After the medics arrived and placed me on the stretcher [still in an “L” position] I was told that I had to lay flat. I told the medic that I could not move backward; I was stuck!... ….he then placed one hand on my chest and one hand on my lap and [NO “1-2-3”] he just “SNAP” –that was the LOUD sound that even my co-workers whom witnessed the accident heard as I fell to the pallet flat… …so YEEEAAAYA!!! I WAS IN PAIN… …but despite the witnesses accounts my boss doctored-up the report because the company was already in deep trouble with OSHA… ...just to let you know… …after SEVERAL months of following the Worker’s Comp regimen –and being told that if I went to my own doctor then it would not be covered- I went to my own doctor anyway; and he sent me to the right specialist and got the right tests done… …after a few months of seeing the right SPECIALISTS{W/C only sent me to a Physical Therapist :/ }… …turned out that I had a suspected spinal cord stretch injury in my neck and low back{remember the dislocated hip?}, spinal cord contusions, significant soft-tissue damage involving nerves and muscles, whiplash injury, and multiple fractures to my lumbar{lower back} facet joints{joints which allow bending and twisting}… …so yeah, I was asking for some pain relief! [Presently, I have been medically disqualified from the workforce and drawing Soc. Security Disability due to chronic pain which on many days restricts most activities. Thankfully, I am now on an adequate pain-management program prescribed by my physician that allows me to maintain a limited but satisfactory lifestyle.]

Moving along… …over the course of about a year after the accident… …not only had ALL my athletic abilities been stripped from me at once, leaving me physically limited… …but my dignity, too, was trashed as Worker Comp doctor after Worker Comp doctor told me that in their opinion I was just faking and lying; insisting that my account of the accident just isn’t possible. My boss knew the truth… ...yet he lied in the accident report and that was what the doctors and W/C were going on... …my boss told me, himself, that he had never seen anybody come out from what happened to me still being able to stand on two feet [I was injured on Saturday and walked (actually slowly ambulated with extreme pain) into work Monday with my doctor’s note]… …upon seeing me on my feet EVERY co-worker in the lobby gasps in amazement… …and some verbally acknowledged that I was definitely the genuine article (pertaining to my faith)… …my boss said that he had seen three other incidents in his career like what happened to me… …two were killed and the other was confined permanently to wheel chair … …he then expressed how “lucky” I was… …I responded, “’luck’ has nothing to do with it; the Bible says: ‘Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name’”{Ps91:14}… …yet, despite knowing the truth, my boss still lied in the accident report.

…anyway, going back to the period of the Worker’s Comp nightmare. –Because we were involved in litigation against Worker’s Comp, I was receiving ZERO income… [Addendum: We were without income for three years total until I received my W/C settlement and after that ran out it was over 5yrs{8yrs total in waiting} before my Disability was approved… ...each month we saw God miraculously provide for our needs]… …I applied for Unemployment benefits shortly after BEING FIRED; I’m going to skip these details for time's sake; but even though the Unemployment Commission ruled in my favor, I was still denied benefits on account of being unfit for work… …one of the conditions for Unemployment is that you have to be “ABLE, available, and looking for work…” …anyway, not only was income nonexistent, month after month I was racked in pain because the doctors I was sent to by W/C refused to prescribe adequate pain medication … …not only were my exceptional physical capabilities stripped from me… …I could no longer provide for my family… …with zero income we were forced to sell everything of value to meet bills (when we could not find charitable help)… …as our material possessions dwindled, and help was scarce, I wondered how we were going to make the next month’s bills… …one day I just “snapped”… …I couldn’t take it… ...I went to the end-room of our trailor and laid with my face on the floor and wept bitterly and cried with tears of anguish out to my Father as I shook all over from this nervous breakdown… …what happen next may be unbelievable by some… …but it is true… …God spoke to me{if any doesn’t believe this could happen rf. Ps120:1/John10:27}… …while my face was flat to the floor; the room became gloriously bright -and strangely the light seemed to embrace me and warm me… …all my pain vanished for a moment… …I dared not to lift my face… …here is what was said to me; the “{}” are inserted for Bible verse referencing purposes...
[God:] I am with you{cp. Matt28:20}… …the things you are going through were appointed for you{Job23:14}… …I love you; so know that everything I allow in your life is motivated by love because I am love{1John4:8}… …everything has been designed to work together to bring about what is best for you{Rom8:28}... …I will never allow you to suffer beyond what you are capable of tolerating{1Cor13:10b}…”
[Here, God only spoke a portion of 1Cor13:10; I felt within my spirit that He was testing my faith; just as Jesus also had tested the faith of the Samaritan woman{cp. Mark7:27-29}; so I responded…
[Me:] (though I was fearful to speak in the presence of God, I knew I was in my Father’s presence and that He seemed to desire me to respond- so I said) “…then please Lord, ‘through this suffering… …grant me an escape that I may be able to tolerate this suffering{1Cor13:10c}.”

It seemed to me that God was pleased with my response after the light vanished… …and my spirit within was calmed with a surety that is inexplicable- a peace that passes all understanding{Philippians4:7}… …though my pain returned and the reality of “this world’s troubles” returned… …I was comforted and assured that my Father was/is in control of everything. The very next day I received in the mail a free subscription to “the Voice of the Martyrs” magazine. I had forgotten that I had requested this subscription weeks before. As I read its pages, my sufferings… …my cross… became pocket-sized compared to the sufferings of my brothers and sisters in various countries… …as I lifted each brother and sister up to God in intercession, my troubles [and pain] became somewhat trivial in comparison… …”How could I break-down over these light sufferings when my sisters brethren are experiencing 10 times the suffering?”… …as I prayed for my brethren and read about their faith; I also grew in my own faith… …God had provided the “escape so that I could bear my sufferings.”

In closing, I would like to leave you with this short story that inspired me long ago:

A man was taken in a vision to God’s heaven… there he spoke with Jesus, “Lord, my cross is too difficult to bear.” Jesus then took him to stand in front of two doors; “These are the “Cross Closets” in which one may discard their cross in one and chose another cross in the other.” The man entered the first closet and discarded his cross and exited. Jesus opened the door for the next closet for the man to enter… …inside he saw crosses of varying sizes most of which were larger than he remembered his cross being and some of enormous stature… …he then glimpse a small cross in the corner that was smaller than any other… …he then said within himself, “That’s the one I want...” and he carried it out exiting the closet joyful over having found the smallest cross. As Jesus closed the door behind the man, with love Jesus said, “My child, that is the one you just discarded.”

I encourage any and all to request a free subscription to “The Voice Of The Martyrs” at www.persecution.com and also the free book titled “Tortured For Christ”{see also www.torturedforchrist.com}. You will never think that anything you face is too big when you read about what God has helped, and is helping, others to overcome and tolerate… …truly we have small problems and a BIG God.