Enemy vs Spouse

I was thinking back upon a few opportunities in which I had counseled others concerning their relationship struggles. I found myself pondering how it is that a Christian could show love for an enemy in obediance to Christ command and yet neglect to minister selflessly to their spouse. The common denominator for these mens' woes was personal "EXPECTATIONS." It seems that it is easier for some to minister to an enemy in which they have absolutely no expectation of returned gratitude than to their own spouse. Without going into a long sermonette on the topic; I just want to throw out this profound mind-set that will remedy most relationship woes... I heard this in a sermon 15+ years ago and it has stuck with me: "Kick a dead man; he won't kick back." You see, a dead man ceases to have retaliatory reflexes. As well, dead men have no expectations of others. If you are dead... then you're dead...{cf. Rom6:7} Yet; as a Christian, the Holy Spirit quickens the flesh{Rom6:4} and enables us to will and do according to God's pleasure{Philippians 2:13}. All that we need to do is submit to God and resist the devil{James 4:7}. It has been well said that the problem with living sacrifices{Rom12:1} is that they tend to want to crawl off of the alter. So, when tensions are rising between you and your spouse remember that dead men don't retaliate... crucify your personal expectations{Gal2:20} and allow God to love through you. Yes, Jesus said to love your enemy{Luke 6:27}; this is somewhat easy because we typically expect nothing in return. But Jesus also said that the distinguishing mark of a genuine follower of His is that we love one another as He loves us{John 13:34-35}; this is complicated when we expect any show of gratitude in return. The remedy: Daily remind yourself of this mind-set: "Dead men don't retaliate."
--> ...I die every day! 1Corinthians 15:31d